| Model | Body | 2026 Price | Range | 0–60 | Best for |
|---|
| Model 3 Standard | Sedan | $38,630 | 321 mi | 5.8 s | Budget-friendly entry, daily commuting |
| Model Y 🔥 Best Pick | Crossover | $41,630 | 321 mi | 6.8 s | Family, cargo, AWD, optional 7 seats |
| Model S Flagship | Sedan | $111,380 | 410 mi | 3.1 s | Max range, status, 1,020 hp Plaid |
| Model X Flagship | 6–7 seat SUV | $116,380 | 352 mi | 3.8 s | Falcon-wing doors, tows up to 5,000 lb |
| Cybertruck AWD | Pickup | $69,990 | 325 mi | 4.1 s | Stainless steel, steer-by-wire, niche |
⚠️ Important: The $7,500 federal tax credit ended September 30, 2025. Model S and X are being discontinued in Q2 2026.
Level 1 · 120V outlet
~3–5 miles/hour
20→80% Model Y: ~27–32 hours
Included with the car. Backup only.
Enough if you drive <30 miles/day
✅ Daily
Level 2 · 240V at home
~30–44 miles/hour
20→80% Model Y: ~4 hours
~$0.10–0.20/kWh · ~$8–15 for a full charge
Supercharger V3/V4
+200 miles in 15 min
10→80%: ~20–30 minutes
~$0.22–0.50/kWh · for road trips
Not for everyday charging — hard on the battery
💡 Top tip: Plug in every night like your phone. Wake up to a full charge every morning — zero range anxiety.
✅ Do
- Charge to 80% daily (NCA/NMC batteries)
- LFP batteries (Standard RWD) — to 100% once a week
- Use Scheduled Departure
- Precondition before winter drives
- If parked for >2 weeks, leave ~50% charge
❌ Don't
- Don't charge to 100% every night
- Don't Supercharge as your main method
- Don't leave it at 0% for long
- Don't park in the heat at 100%
- Don't ignore the blue snowflake ❄️ (weak regen)
📊 The numbers: Tesla Impact Report 2023 — Model 3/Y lose ~15% capacity over 200,000 miles. Warranty: 70% over 8 years / 100–150k miles.
Basic Autopilot
Standard on every Tesla
- Traffic-Aware Cruise Control
- Autosteer — lane keeping
- Marked highways only
- Hands on the wheel required
FSD (Supervised)
$8,000 one-time · or $199/mo
- Auto lane changes, highway on/off-ramps
- Traffic lights and STOP signs
- Autopark, Smart Summon
- HW4 (2023+) — full feature set
- ⚠️ The driver is always legally responsible
⚠️ FSD is SAE Level 2, not autonomous driving. The driver must monitor the road. Eyes on the road at all times.
🌡 Climate
"Set temp to 70""My butt is cold""Defrost"🧭 Navigation
"Navigate home""Drive to Target""Cancel navigation"🔒 Car Controls
"Open glovebox""Fold mirrors""Open butthole"🛡 Safety
"Keep Tesla safe""Bug report""Hey Grok"💡 Press the right scroll wheel on the steering wheel → wait for the chime → speak. "Open butthole" — really does open the charge port.
1
Set up in the app
Controls → Locks → Add Key → Phone Key. Bluetooth on. Hold your phone to the card reader inside the car.
2
How it works
Bluetooth Low Energy — the car unlocks as you approach. Walk-Away Lock — it locks when you leave.
3
Backup key card
Tap it on the B-pillar → unlocks. Card on the wireless charger pad → starts the car. Keep it in your wallet, not in the car!
⚠️ Keep the key card in your wallet, NOT in the car. If your phone dies in a parking lot, a card locked inside the car is useless.
✅ How it works
- Lift off the accelerator → motor → generator → charges the battery
- Hold mode: the car comes to a full stop and holds the brake
- Saves ~10% of energy on a trip
- Brake pads last 100,000+ miles
- Model 3/Y since 2024 — Hold mode only (Creep removed)
⚠️ When you need the brake
- Emergency braking — always hit the pedal
- Battery at 100% — regen is off (nowhere to put the charge)
- Blue snowflake ❄️ — cold battery, weak regen
- Slippery road — regen can break traction
- Long, steep descents
📡 Tesla ships 8–14 updates a year. Over Wi-Fi while the car is parked. Installation takes 20–60 min.
2019–2020
- Sentry Mode, Dog Mode, Camp Mode
- Games in the Toybox menu
2021–2022
- V11 UI — full interface redesign
- Boombox / fart sounds through the external speaker
2024
- Active Road Noise Reduction — quieter with no new parts
- Creep and Roll modes removed (Model 3/Y)
- FSD v12 — neural network instead of hard-coded rules
2025–2026 🔥
- Battery Health Test in the Service menu
- Low Power Mode — saves energy during long parking
- Hey Grok — voice AI assistant
- Pet Mode, 24-hour Dashcam storage
- FSD v14 — HW4 only (2023+)
⚠️ Important: Updates can't be rolled back. If you don't like a change, you wait for the next update.
🌡
Preheat / cool down
Start the climate 15–45 min before leaving. The car heats from the outlet, not the battery.
📅
Scheduled Departure
Set a departure time. The car finishes charging and preheats the cabin right on schedule.
👁
Sentry Mode Live
Watch your car's cameras in real time. Up to 1 hour a day. Requires a USB drive.
🚗
Smart Summon
The car drives itself to you in a parking lot. Up to ~150 feet. Requires an FSD subscription.
🐾
Dog / Camp Mode
Climate stays on after you leave. The screen shows the temperature. For pets and overnight stays.
🔋
Charging monitor
Charge %, miles added, cost. Stop charging remotely.
MYTH
Tesla can't handle winter
FACT
Loses 20–35% at 0°C. The fix is battery preconditioning. Cybertruck keeps 88% at -1°C (best among EVs).
MYTH
FSD = fully autonomous
FACT
SAE Level 2. The driver is always legally responsible. Full name: Full Self-Driving (Supervised).
MYTH
Zero maintenance
FACT
No oil or spark plugs, but you need tires every 25–40k miles, brake fluid, and a 12V battery every 4 years.
MYTH
The battery dies in 5 years
FACT
~15% loss over 200,000 miles. A 2016 Model S has done 430,000 miles on its original battery.
MYTH
EVs catch fire more than gas cars
FACT
1 fire per 130M miles for Tesla vs 1 per 19M miles for gas cars. Gasoline burns 7x more often.
MYTH
Charging takes hours
FACT
Plug in at home overnight — full by morning. Supercharger does 10→80% in 20–30 min. 75,000+ stalls worldwide.
MYTH
EVs are bad for the environment
FACT
A Model Y offsets its manufacturing carbon in 1–2 years. Lifetime CO₂ is 65–70% lower than a gas car.
MYTH
Tesla is cheaper to insure
FACT
Model 3: ~$4,364/yr. Average gas car: $2,732/yr. 49% more expensive due to aluminum and scarce parts.
Inspect the car — scratches, panel gaps, glass before signing Phone as key: Controls → Locks → Add Key Key card in your wallet (the second one at home) Charge limit: 80% (or 100% for LFP) Plug in to charge at home Install a 256GB+ USB SSD for Dashcam/Sentry Create a driver profile + Easy Entry Set up Scheduled Departure Add Home and Work to navigation First Supercharger trip — learn the workflow Try Autopilot on an empty highway Buy rubber floor mats and a screen protector Battery Health Test: Controls → Service Read the Manual: tap "T" → Owner's Manual ⛽
Fuel
Tesla at home$0.04/mile
Gas at 25 mpg$0.13/mile
−$900–1,300/yr
🔧
Maintenance
Tesla per year~$500–650
Gas car per year~$1,200–1,500
−$700/yr
🛡
Insurance
Model 3~$4,364/yr
Average car~$2,732/yr
+$1,326/yr
⚙️
Tires
Tesla wear25–40k miles
Regular car50–75k miles
+$400/yr
💡 5-year bottom line: A Model 3/Y saves $3,000–8,000 compared to a similar gas car — mostly on fuel and maintenance.
🔤
S3XY — on purpose
Musk wanted S, E, X, Y. Ford owned "Model E" — so it became "3" (looks like a flipped E)
🚀
Roadster in space
A cherry-red Roadster with Starman was launched into solar orbit in 2018 on Falcon Heavy
🧫
Bioweapon Defense
Model S/X have a HEPA filter and positive-pressure mode — tested against bioagents
💨
Official fart sounds
Toybox → Emissions Testing Mode. You can fart at passersby through the external speaker
👁
HAL 9000
The red eye in Sentry Mode is a deliberate nod to the AI from "2001: A Space Odyssey"
🎮
Rainbow Road
4 stalk clicks down on Autopilot → Mario Kart Rainbow Road on screen + "More Cowbell"
🔇
Quieter with no parts
Active Road Noise Reduction came via OTA — mics and DSP cancel the noise, zero physical changes
📊
430,000 miles
A 2016 Model S has driven 430,000 miles on its original battery, losing ~65 miles of range
🆓
Open patents
In 2014 Tesla opened all its patents "in good faith" — to accelerate the EV market
⚙️
Cybertruck: no steering shaft
Steer-by-wire — no mechanical link. One full turn = full wheel lock
🌍
Stall #75,000
November 19, 2025 — Supercharger #75,000 opened in Tasmania, Australia
🔵
No Off button
There's no ignition key. Walk in with your phone, press the brake, drive. Walk away — it locks itself
🐰
Easter eggs
Name the car "Patsy" → Monty Python. "42" → "Life, Universe and Everything". Dozens of gags
🔋
100% = weaker braking
With a full battery regen is off — the car suddenly feels “duller” when slowing on the accelerator. That's normal.
🏥
7x safer than gas
1 fire per 130M miles vs 1 per 19M miles for gas cars
🤖
10 billion FSD miles
As of May 2026, FSD (Supervised) has driven a cumulative 10+ billion miles